Astrology Jokes - Authors Unknown
LEO (July 23 - Aug 22)Your determination and sense of humor will come to the fore.
Your ability to laugh at adversity will be a blessing
because you've got a day coming you wouldn't believe.
As a matter of fact, if you can laugh at what happens
to you today you got a sick sense of humour.
LIBRA (Sep. 23 to Oct. 22)
Your desire for justice and truth will be overshadowed
by your desire for filthy lucre and a decent meal.
Be gracious and polite. Someone is watching you,
so stop staring like that.
PISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20)
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being
followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your
associates and people resent your flaunting of your power.
You lack confidence and you are generally a coward.
Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.
PISCES (Feb. 19 to Mar. 20)
Take the high road, look for the good things, carry the
American Express card and a weapon.
The world is yours today, as nobody else wants it.
Your mortgage will be foreclosed.
You will probably get run over by a bus.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Learn something new today, like how to spell or how to count
to ten without using your fingers. Be careful dressing this
morning. You may be hit by a car later in the day and you
wouldn't want to be taken to the doctor's office in some of
that old underwear you own.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
You are the logical type and hate disorder.
This nitpicking is sickening to your friends.
You are cold and unemotional
and sometimes fall asleep while making love.
Virgos make good bus drivers.
CAPRICORN (Dec 23 - Jan 19)
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks.
You don't do much of anything and are lazy.
There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.
Capricorns should avoid standing still for too long
as they take root and become trees.
This page was updated November 25, 2002.